Written by Hannah Blum, author of The Truth About Broken: The Unfixed Version of Self-Love
The first thing I tell people who ask me about revealing their diagnosis of mental illness to their partner is, keep a journal and note every change you see in their behavior, their reactions, and the general vibe in the relationship. It’s a necessary precaution those of us living with mental illness have to take in relationships. Stigma is part of our reality. It’s been 4 years since I was lucky enough to get out of a relationship with a manipulator, a gaslighter. The manipulation had warped my perception of myself and the world around me entirely, which is why I am writing this blog post. I want to give you what I needed when I was conflicted, and that is information that makes you say, I’m not crazy. First, let’s define it, what is gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person makes the victim question their reality and attempts to make them believe that they are going insane.
The term is derived from the film with Ingrid Bergman called the Gaslight (1944). It’s about a husband who tries to convince his wife and others that she is insane. The film, Gaslight, refers to how the husband slowly dims the gas lights in their home while pretending that his wife imagines it to doubt her own perceptions.
Here are 5 signs your partner is gaslighting you when you live with mental illness.
For more mental health content follow @hannahdblum
In her first book, The Truth About Broken: The Unfixed Version of Self-Love, Hannah Blum redefines what it means to love yourself and takes readers on an unforgettable journey towards embracing what makes you different by sharing captivating stories that will never leave you after reading. A book that will give you a new perspective on mental illness as Hannah shares her unapologetic message rooted in her life as living with a mental illness in a society that has labeled her and others as broken.
This really was so spot on. I’m struggling to get out of a psychologically abusive relationship with a gas lighter. I’m starting to wake up because just tonight she claimed she didn’t say something I absolutely heard her say. She blamed me for being delusional and that it’s because of what I live with. The lying and denying are next level. I’m finding my courage to leave reading articles like this. Thank you for sharing!
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Hi Sally! Thank you for commenting and sharing such a deep personal part of your life. The great thing is you are recognizing it, and are aware its present. I was in a relationship where gaslighting was heavily present, and it only intensified over the years. I am sending you love, and please be safe. Know you are worthy of a love that makes you feel whole.
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