As someone who lives with bipolar disorder, trust me I understand what it is like to feel too much and fall too hard in both love and life. Also, I know how it feels to be rejected, taken advantage of or punished for this way of communicating with others. Whether you have a mental illness or not, many of us can relate to the self-doubt, constant questioning and shame that comes with acting on our emotions. To the women who feel too much and fall too hard, here are five reasons you should not feel ashamed.
1. We Regret the People We Didn’t Love, Not the People We Loved.
Even if you’ve had your heart broken more often than you’d like to admit, at least you can move forward knowing that you gave it a chance. The people we love and heartbreaks we endure are the experiences that shape us into the person we were meant to be.
2. Holding Back Never Pushes You Forward.
Have you ever asked yourself, “Well maybe if I had just waited longer to text or tell him/her about my feelings things would be different?” Answer: It wouldn’t be any different. Whether you waited 10 minutes to text back or three months, it still won’t change the situation. You either feel too much or not enough, you say I love you too soon or not soon enough, you are too little, or you are too much. Love doesn’t abide by a calendar, and neither should we.
3. You Are Not Flawed; You Are Honest.
We may be over the top at times, confusing and pull for an emotional reaction. We are not perfect. Guess what? It makes us human, and we should not feel ashamed. Acting on your truth makes you fearless. It leads to the conversations that matter and the experiences that fill our lives with content. You are fearless, beautiful and selfless.
4. You Are Not Alone.
You are not alone when it comes to feeling ashamed about your emotional ways of thinking. A perfect example is American actress and icon, Marilyn Monroe.
Marilyn Monroe and American playwright, Arthur Miller, were married from 1956-1961. One night, towards the end of their marriage, Monroe found Miller’s notebook with writings that revealed his feelings of disappointment and embarrassment towards her.
She was a whirling light to me then…All paradox and enticing mystery, street-tough one moment, then lifted by a lyrical and poetic sensitivity that few retain past early adolescence.
Miller refers to these emotional characteristics of Marilyn as childish and in my opinion, passively suggests that she is a fool. A person who is incapable of looking at life and love from a logical viewpoint. However, quietly admits that these emotional qualities were what drew him in.
5. You Define Love as It Should Be.
Everyone views life and love differently. Some take the more logical approach. Some consider the word ‘love’ as a warning sign, red flag or something that comes with a list of responsibilities. However, for those of us who feel too much, overthink and fall too hard, we define love as it should be, a feeling; and sometimes a feeling comes without reason or justification. If feeling ‘too much’ makes me ridiculous or a fool, then I’ll take both as a compliment.
A fantastic book on this topic is “Women Who Love Too Much” by Robin Norwood.
This past Summer I purchased the Audiobook and listened to it on a 16-hour drive to Rhode Island for a wedding. It felt like Norwood was speaking directly to me in a majority of the chapters. As anÂ Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. If you’ve read it share your thoughts about it in the comment section below.